European Tourists

So this past week, I have been traveling all over the southwest. A few days ago I visited Mesa Verde for what seems like the 8th time. After a couple visits, the ruins become less spectacular. Anyways, one thing that I did notice was that, if you're looking, European tourists usually stick out like a sore thumb. Here is the basic criteria:

They are probably Europeans if:

They are somewhat skinny.
They have fanny packs (aka asymptotes)
They are bald or close buzz cut(if they're young guys)
They wear short shorts or capris
They have those gay zipper shoes/funky sandal things
They smell profusely of sunscreen
And obviously if they are speaking some European language, that is a dead giveaway

If a person meets all or many of these specifications, its a good bet that they're European, however its up to your descretion to make the final decision.. Of course not all Europeans are going to meet these standards, but its a good starting point for all you beginners out there in the field.

*NOTE: Not responsible for any incorrectly labeled 'Europeans'