Duct Tape

A lot of you have probably already heard this, but whatever...

During my road trip to Ohio, at a rest stop in Illinois, this was scratched into a picnic table:

Duct tape is like the force. It has a dark side and a light side and it holds the universe together..

I had to laugh because this is so true.

That one kid...

This is mostly for the guys, but I guess in some strange circumstance it could possibly apply to girls too. I don't know...

So anyway:

Do you remember back in elementary school, there was always that one kid, when you were taking a piss, and he'd walk up and BAM! totally drop everything, underwear and all; asscheeks flyin all over the place, and he'd just be standing there peeing like, "What? Nothing's happening here...."

European Tourists

So this past week, I have been traveling all over the southwest. A few days ago I visited Mesa Verde for what seems like the 8th time. After a couple visits, the ruins become less spectacular. Anyways, one thing that I did notice was that, if you're looking, European tourists usually stick out like a sore thumb. Here is the basic criteria:

They are probably Europeans if:

They are somewhat skinny.
They have fanny packs (aka asymptotes)
They are bald or close buzz cut(if they're young guys)
They wear short shorts or capris
They have those gay zipper shoes/funky sandal things
They smell profusely of sunscreen
And obviously if they are speaking some European language, that is a dead giveaway

If a person meets all or many of these specifications, its a good bet that they're European, however its up to your descretion to make the final decision.. Of course not all Europeans are going to meet these standards, but its a good starting point for all you beginners out there in the field.

*NOTE: Not responsible for any incorrectly labeled 'Europeans'

Stupid Ads

I dont know about everyone else, but I'm tired of super retarded advertisements, primarily on myspace. I mean, seriously, look at this:

So if i get this new underarmour shirt, I'll be able to pick up a cinder block?? I've always wanted to be able to do that!

If you need this fat quiz to tell you if you're fat or not, I think that you're already a lost cause...

Whoever spent their time sitting around making this ad shouldn't be talking....

And that concludes my whining about retarded ads, for today.

1st post!

Hey everyone! This is jesse, and I'm here experimenting with a new blog. This is the first post of "Jesse's Thoughts". This particular post has nothing to say, but who knows what the future holds......